We all dream of the perfect marriage; that ideal life you will spend with your significant other, but how on earth do you juggle work, play, marriage, children to create a perfect balance, and thus the perfect marriage?
I have been married for a little over 2 years now to the most amazing man I could have ever imagined (and I’m sure you feel the same about your soon to be Husband/Wife)
Here are a few tips I have found that worked personally for me and my marriage that has lead to a very harmonious life together (aside from my irrational mood swings sometimes, Thank you PMS!)
Learn to compromise –
Sometimes you both can’t have it your way and thats okay, it doesn’t mean you concede every time your partner makes a decision or wants something different to you, it means coming to an alternative agreement peacefully and respectfully.
An example: Your husband wants to spend Friday Night watching sports and you want to go out for a nice dinner or have a romantic movie night in. How do you compromise on this? Talk with him, ask him if you can go out to dinner first, and he can watch the replay when you come home. With Commercial Television these days (+2 channels) and Foxtel, there really is no excuse as to why he can’t watch the game, or record the program. That way, you both get what you want and have compromised in a respectful manner; you respect his desire to watch sports and he respects your desire to do something nice and intimate. If this isn’t possible, then maybe try suggesting another night for dinner.
Being truthful –
I know I know, it seems like a no brainer, but seriously one of the most important aspects of a relationship, and more importantly a marriage, is the ability to be truthful to one another… about everything!
Get interested in what your partner does –
When I met my husband, he was into all sorts of nerdy things that I really had no idea about, nor really cared for. I liked painting, writing and being crazy; he liked coding, electronics and guitars. It would seem like we were worlds apart in our interests, but after sometime, I started getting more and more interested in what he was doing. I actively showed him I wanted to understand and know more about these things and visa versa, he actively made an effort to get involved in what I liked. We even cook together every night, he makes a great assistant chef, and his chopping and marinading skills are the bomb! All these little things helped our relationship grow stronger.
Appreciate the small things –
Never lose sight of the person you fell in love with. Work, Family and struggles can get in the way of life sometimes; don’t let it!! There is so much beauty in the world, (albeit too much hardship and not enough time) but don’t let those moment pass you by. Go watch a Moonrise or frolic in the sun at the beach/river, go watch the stars, take your shoes off and go bushwalking! Show these things to your children let them experience the ‘small things’ in life with your partner. It will make all the problems at work, home seem insignificant, even for a moment.
Appreciate your partner –
I usually do all the washing/cleaning on a Sunday afternoon and sometimes I forget to take the clothes out of the washing machine that night and it gets left until Monday (sometimes later, oops). Well the other day my husband decided without me asking to take the clothes out of the washing machine and put them in the dryer for me, without me asking. I came home from work at about 7pm that night and saw he had done this and I praised him for doing it.. Men like praise and recognition too! I know it may sound like a small gesture, but sometimes those small gestures add up and really make you both feel appreciated.
Sometimes you will be irrational and so will he –
It’s okay, life goes on and so will your relationship. Take a short breather and come back to the situation with a clearer head, otherwise you will end up arguing again and going around in circles, which doesn’t help anyone.
Don’t go to bed angry –
Its easier said than done I know, but try and resolve things before you have to sleep, and if this isn’t possible, don’t wake up angry at each other.